You may not realize it, but you need to upgrade your formal wear to be at the top of your game. When the holiday season comes around, you’ll get invited to countless parties, get-togethers, and soirees. Many of them, at least nowadays, will be come as you are, meaning they don’t really care what you wear and there’s no specific dress code.
In the olden days, a party such as this was a formal event: tuxedo, bow tie, and your best behavior. While you may think we are beyond the days of The Great Gatsby, you, above others, as a loyal reader of The Manual, should know better. Everything comes back around, and you need to be ready with a deep knowledge of formal wear for men.
Lucky for you, we have that to share. Here’s what you need to know about holiday formal wear before heading off to this year’s parties.
Know when formal wear is necessary
When you receive an invitation from someone, the first thing you need to do is decide whether you want to attend. Once you do that, find the line on the invitation (it’s usually the last line before the sign-off or part of the postscript) that talks about the dress code. It will likely have one of the following listed as the dress code for the event. It may also use different but similar terminology, but these are the basics:
- White tie: This is the most elevated and classic of the formal wear dress codes: double-breasted coats, white waistcoats, white ties, and tails on the coat.
- Black tie is the most common formal dress code. It’s more laid-back than a white tie, but only slightly. The white items are swapped out for black, except the shirt, and the tail on the coat is lost to keep it resembling a suit jacket.
- Black tie optional: This one can be a little misleading. This is the host being nice. It likely means they are wearing black tie attire and would love to have their guests don the tux as well, but they don’t want to be exclusive. If this is the dress code, go ahead and join them in black tie.
- Business professional: Suits, ties, dress shoes, dressing like you work on Wall Street or Capital Hill here.
- Cocktail attire: There are tailored garments, shirts, and ties you love but aren’t appropriate for the office. This is where you wear them. Give your suit and tie some personality.
- Smart casual: You want to stand out in your office, but the suits and ties are typically reserved for the boss. Elevate one or two items in your business casual wardrobe to stand a little above the rest.
- Business casual: Polos and chinos. No dress pants or ties here. This is about comfort and getting the job done. This is the most common dress code for the office.
- Casual: This is your dress code, and it’s free for all. Just don’t dress like you just rolled out of bed.
Formal wear is considered anything belonging to the top three options. If you get one of those, know that you’ll need to pull out all the stops and dive into the formal wear world. Here is what you need so you don’t show up unprepared.
The tuxedo
It all starts with a great tux. In all but the most demanding of circumstances, you could get away with wearing a black or very dark navy suit (completely appropriate if, for instance, the dress code is cocktail attire). If we are going to do it right, though, a tuxedo offers some hard-core sartorial elegance. It’s basically a black suit that’s jacked up with a couple of specific touches.
Most specifically speaking, the jacket will have satin lapels and the pants will have a matching satin stripe down the outer seam of the legs. If you’re going to buy one, you’ll want to go with a relatively conservative cut so that you can get a few seasons of wear from it, but be sure that it also reflects current tailored clothing trends, particularly in terms of fit.
The dinner jacket
If you think you’ll be attending a lot of holiday parties or fund-raising galas, it might be a good idea to have a dinner jacket, too; maybe in a jewel tone or a quiet plaid to give your formal wardrobe some range (especially if you’re showing up at events with the same group of friends or colleagues). This is best worn along with tuxedo pants, but in some cases can be worn with other dress trousers when needed.
The idea of a dinner jacket is to liven up your tuxedo look. Whether you’re wearing it for a black tie event or even a cocktail party, you are injecting personality into the ensemble. But do so with care, because it is possible that you can overdo the personality and look garish. Pro tip: When shopping for a dinner jacket, stick with solid colors and preferably dark. While the orange dinner jacket looked pretty fantastic in Kingsman: The Golden Circle, it will likely not play the same at your office party.
The formal shirt
Like so much formalwear, it’s best to keep shirts simple. We like an elegant pique fabric or a sophisticated mini pleat, but a plain front quality cotton cloth shirt is fine, too. Choose a collar that makes you comfortable. The wing-tip is the most formal and goes best with a bow tie, but they can be a bit flyaway, and it’s easy to end up with one side tucked under the tie and the other on top. (They’re both supposed to be on top, by the way).
If you decide on something more versatile, a point collar is the best way to go. Here is the place many men make mistakes when engaging in formal dress: your regular dress shirt won’t be good enough. If it is French cuffed, you may think you can get away with it as long as you opt for an evening tie as opposed to a bow tie (you won’t see the button studs behind the tie anyway), but the fabrics are different. Best to stick with a specifically designed formal dress shirt.
The formal necktie
Again, bowties are considered the most formal, and the dressiest, of course, is simple black satin. If you want to avoid being mistaken for a waiter, though, you may want to delve into something with a little bit of personality. A minimal pattern or simple jacquard should keep you safely within the dictates of the dress code. If you are planning to wear a tuxedo and want to keep the look consistent, it is best to opt for the bowtie.
When you opt for an evening tie, it simply begins to feel a little too wedding or prom. If it is a wedding or prom, by all means. But if this is an adult party with an adult dress code, go for the bowtie. And one more thing, please buy one that you can tie yourself, and, if necessary, practice doing it ahead of time.
Cuff links and studs
We talked a little about French cuffed shirts and this is why. When you are wearing a tuxedo or a dinner jacket, the sleeves will always require their own flare, and the cufflinks and studs are how you accomplish that. Let’s start with the studs. They are pretty basic, and should remain that way. These will act as the buttons on the shirt, but will give them a little more decoration. These are often a simple black during black tie or white during white tie. You can deviate from this a little, but don’t be a hero, they will absolutely take away from the rest of the outfit if you do it incorrectly.
Now for the cufflinks. Look, the rule of thumb is, the more formal the event, the more basic and conservative these should be. Having said that, keep in mind that these are the best place to add personality when you are wearing formalwear. They are subtle and not always seen. That doesn’t mean you should have diamond encrusted skulls, but you can afford a little more color. Think silver with a sapphire initial and sapphire studs as a way to show off. Simple, but elegant.
Formal socks
What? Socks? Like that matters? Yeah, sadly this is the one thing that we’ve seen often ruin an otherwise home run of a formal outfit. There are a few things to keep in mind when you are looking to grab a pair of socks for your formal event. The first is, they shouldn’t be noticed. What does that mean? It means ZERO novelty socks and match them to the pants.
If you are in a black tuxedo, black socks. If you’re in a navy tuxedo (good for you to go all in on the style), navy socks. White tux? You hopefully get the picture. Finally, these should be the thinnest dress socks you own. The more formal the sock, the less fabric used. We don’t make the rules, it just is what it is.
Formal shoes
One more potential deal breaker: Wearing just any pair of black shoes will not work for formal. If you choose not to wear the black opera pump that is considered the most formal, at least wear a pair of perfectly polished lace-up Oxfords or cap-toe shoes. Simple Chelsea or lace-up dress boots may also be an option.
No loafers. No iconoclastic sneakers. No cowboy boots (unless you’re in Texas). Oddly enough, we find black Dr. Martens smooth leather lace-up noots to be perfectly acceptable if you’re really feeling the need to be impertinent.
Our final formal tips
Here are some tips that we suggest you follow:
- Don’t wait until the day of the event to try on all the elements. Try everything on in front of a full-length mirror a week or two beforehand to make sure everything is in great shape.
- Make sure your tuxedo or suit fits well. If you’ve had it for a while, it may be time to head to the tailor to make sure that the fit is optimal — and that it’s a perfectly clean suit.
- Polish those shoes.
- Consider a boutonniere, or at least a fabric flower to tuck into your lapel.
