Hangovers are among the cruelest phenomena in existence. A brutal punishment from the gods of moderation, they haunt us the morning after some of our most enjoyable evenings.
They’re even worse this time of year. For starters, you might be partying a bit more, given that it’s the holiday season and, well, we’re still seeing out a rather apocalyptic pandemic. The dark days of winter also persuade us to start imbibing a bit earlier, thus upping the probability of a miserable next morning. Fortunately, there are some genuinely great goods to at least take the sting out of a hangover.
Sure, the best cure is time. But you shouldn’t have to suffer for throwing back too many spiked egg nog drinks. Hangovers can be managed by a variety of things, from a good cup of tea and some soothing music to a Monte Cristo. Yet, for the quickest fixes, it’s best to bust out the heavy artillery. These eight products do just that. They don’t always bury the hangover entirely, but they certainly improve things and make the unthinkable — getting out of bed, vanquishing the haze, actually being productive, ever enjoying a cocktail again — very realistic.
Kinderlyte
Essentially Gatorade on steroids, Kinderlyte has four to five times more electrolytes than sports drinks with just a fraction of the sugar. Translation: A salty, surprisingly tasty elixir that gives you an instant boost. It’s one of the speediest ways to rehydrate (dehydration is a big part of why you feel the way you do right now) and it tastes good, too. Flavors like wild berry and lemon-lime are even refreshing when you’re perfectly sober.
Health-Ade Plus
This tasty kombucha comes in a variety of hangover-slaying forms and flavors. You get the many benefits of probiotics coupled with added ingredients to tackle that headache and sluggishness. The four most effective options are Energy, Hydrate, Immunity, and Belly Reset, hit with various combinations of fruit and spices to cure what ails you.
Topo Chico
While it may not be formally billed as a hangover cure, Topo Chico works wonders. The bubbly water zaps you with goodness, injected with an almost-volatile amount of effervescence. The lively mineral water has been around since the late 19th century and borrows inspiration from the restorative waters the Aztecs consumed well, well before that.
Hydralyte Plus
These handy to-go pouches are great for hangovers on the road (Kinderlyte sells similar pouches too). It’s jam-packed with vitamin C, electrolytes, and elderberry for your immune system. In addition to getting the better of a hangover, this potion can take out a common cold as well, not to mention scurvy.
Keto-Beam Micro-Boost
A triple threat to even the worst hangovers, this supplement works hard on your behalf. It offers cellular nutrition, pushes out the toxins your poured into your body the previous night, and strengthens your system so that the misery doesn’t linger. For best results, use preemptively as it will help guard against other illnesses, too.
JAF Tea
We love tea and there are some great ones out there. JAF’s lineup is especially soothing, which is all the more vital when you’re struggling to get your day going. A cup or two will settle your stomach, ease your mind, and have you at least thinking about leaving the house.
Gaia Herbs Black Elderberry Syrup
Elderberries have been used medicinally for hundreds of years. There’s not a lot of clinical evidence backing the fruit, but in its concentrated form, like this syrup, it offers a kick of antioxidants and energy. Try some for several days straight leading up to your evening of debauchery and your immune system will thank you.
Crispy Pig Whiskey Bloody Mary
Give up? Hair of the dog it is. This canned Bloody Mary is made with whiskey and will have you distracted from your woes in no time. For extra bad hangovers (a common side effect of 2020), know that this breakfast drink of champions also comes in a 3.5 liter box.
